Friday, February 17, 2006

The Death Of Music, Part 4


Saw another shitty band on Letterman last night- She Wants Revenge. This waste of noise consisted of a black guy on guitar and lead vocals who literally "sang" the lyrics in monotone the whole song; some weird dude dressed in black with a red 'X' on his chest who was beating some keyboard pad with one drum stick (I have no idea what kind of sound it was supposed to be making); a lead guitar player who basically strummed muted strings for most of the "song"; and a drummer who could at least keep a beat, which is the only thing I heard that qualified as music, at least from a definitive standpoint. I just don't understand how or why bands like this continue to get exposure. And major labels wonder why they continue to lose money...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Thanks a lot Dave Matthews!


I must go off on something that has been bothering me for quite some time now, which is eponymous band names. I'm sick and tired of every other band being called "The (Insert Name Here) Band". It started with the Dave Matthews band and since then it seems like there are a thousand bands like this. What happened to creativity in this country? If you listen to these bands' music, it's obvious that this aforementioned creativity was lost on these particular acts, and not just in naming themselves. I saw two guys (yes, two of them) on a local TV morning show this morning called the Ben Nelson Band and guess what? They sucked. Just because you can put words to chords doesn't mean that you're entitled to spread aural air pollution. Can we please have a moratorium on this? I realize that some of these morons out there may have already killed millions of brain cells, but how about using what little cerebral function you have left to come up with a somewhat creative band name? Thanks.

My Valentine's Road Trip


I went to see Aimee Mann perform in Atlanta on Tuesday night and I had a couple of interesting incidents on the drive over and the drive back. First of all, I stopped off at an exit to grab a bite to eat and pulled into a Chik-Fil-A. The drive-thru line was out the ass, so I decided to park and go inside. I couldn't believe what I witnessed next. It was Valentine’s Dinner Night at Chik-Fil-A. They had closed off a whole section and had a hostess, candle-lit tables and two servers. And if taking your date to Chik-Fil-A isn’t cheap enough, they were offering two free desserts with the purchase of two combo meals. If you’re in high school or a senior citizen or just want to do something cute with your kids on V-Day, I can understand. But really ladies, how would you react if your man told you he was taking you to Chik-Fil-A for Valentine’s Day?

And for the capper: on the way home I made a pit stop for gas, a snack and to shake the proverbial dew off my lilly. I approached the restroom, I opened the door...and lo and behold there’s a large black man sitting on the shitter taking a dump while talking on his cell phone. It was a single toilet bathroom and the guy didn’t have the brains or the courtesy to lock the fucking door. The odor was so putrid it knocked me back like heat from a hot oven. Instead, he had to go and ruin my evening (as well as my appetite). Thanks chief.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Waaaaaaaaaahhh!!


I used to hate NASCAR. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to watch a bunch of cars drive in circles for three hours. Then some former bandmates gradually turned me onto it, and I was hooked. The last few years, however, I've becomed more and more disinterested in the sport. This is partly due to the new generation of young punk drivers (i.e. Kurt Busch) but mainly has to do with what has become the newest pastime for NASCAR drivers- complaining to the media about how unfair the rules are or unsafe it is for them to drive. I am sick and tired of listening to every driver bitch, moan and whine. In the old days, if one driver had a problem with another driver, they would just stalk them after the race and beat the shit out of them. I don't ever recall Bobby Allison or David Pearson crying about how they got bumped out of the race.

This past weekend, Tony Stewart complained about how something needs to be done about the tactic known as bump drafting before another driver gets killed.

"I was watching TV before we came down here and they were talking about the tribute to Dale Earnhardt," said Stewart, referring to the fact the legendary driver was killed five years ago in the 2001 Daytona 500. "Five years from now we're probably going to have to do another tribute to another driver because we're going to kill somebody. It could be me or Dale Earnhardt Jr. or anybody out there," said Stewart.

If it's not softening the bumpers or getting rid of restrictor plates, it's something else. Hey Tony and everyone else- how about putting your money where your mouth is? If it's so unsafe and you're so afraid of getting killed, then why don't you take a stand and refuse to race until NASCAR fixes the problem? Oh wait, of course you won't. Because you're The Home Depot's bitch. The sponsors own the drivers because the sponsors pay the millions of dollars it takes to put these cars on the track every week. Until you're willing to grow some balls and stand up for what you believe in, do us all a favor and shut the fuck up.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Poor Fat Phil


Fat Phil Fulmer has shown his ass again. Yesterday he whined to the AP about how he had been lied to by several recruits after committing and then de-committing to Tennessee.

"There's guys that just lie to you -- flat lie to you," he said. "That goes back to upbringing."

Oh really Phillip? Kinda like coaches lie to players and their parents when they tell them that they'll be there to take care of their sons for four years only to flee to another school for more money? And Is Fulmer is trying to tell us that he's never continued to recruit a prospect after that prospect has committed to another school? Bullshit. And I find it interesting that Fulmer would blame this "problem" on upbringing when he's had countless disciplinary issues with many of his players in recent years.

"I don't begrudge anyone for not choosing our school. We're not going to get every recruit, but just be honest."

As honest as you are Phillip? As honest as you were during the whole Alabama NCAA investigation? Go phuck yourself Phillip.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Hey Visor Guy


I played a gig at a bar the other night and saw a dude wearing a visor. In a late night bar. And it wasn't the first time I've noticed one of these idiots. If you're hanging out at the club watering hole after playing a round of golf, fine. Granted, I'd never wear one at all. But the golf course is about the only place I'd consider it appropriate to wear on of these moronic pieces of head gear. But in a bar?!? How could wearing a visor possibly EVER look cool? Do women actually go for these guys or am I just way out of touch with society?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Unbelievable



Apple sued over hearing loss in iPod buyers
By DAN GOODIN, Associated Press Writer

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

An owner of Apple Computer Inc.'s iPod music player filed a federal lawsuit against the computer maker, claiming the device causes hearing loss in people who use it.

The portable music players are "inherently defective in design and are not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings regarding the likelihood of hearing loss," according to the complaint, which seeks class action status. The suit, filed on behalf of John Kiel Patterson of Louisiana on Tuesday in U.S. District Court in San Jose, Calif., seeks compensation for unspecified plaintiffs' damages and upgrades that will make iPods safer.

Apple has sold more than 42 million of the devices since they went on sale in 2001, including 14 million in the fourth quarter last year. The devices can produce sounds of more than 115 decibels, a volume that can damage the hearing of a person exposed to the sound for more than 28 seconds per day, the complaint states.

Although the iPod is more popular than other types of portable music players, its ability to cause noise-induced hearing isn't any higher, experts said.

"We have numerous products in the marketplace that have the potential to damage hearing," said Deanna Meinke, a professor of audiology at the University of Northern Colorado. "The risk is there but the risk lies with the user and where they set the volume."

Apple spokeswoman Kristin Huguet declined to comment.

The Cupertino-based company ships a warning with each iPod that cautions "permanent hearing loss may occur if earphones or headphones are used at high volume."

Apple was forced to pull the iPod from store shelves in France and upgrade software on the device to limit sound to 100 decibels, but has not followed suit in the United States, according to the complaint. White headphones commonly referred to as ear buds, which ship with the iPod, also contribute to noise-induced hearing loss because they do not dilute the sound entering the ear and are closer to the ear canal than other sound sources, the complaint states.

Apple has also contributed to hearing loss in iPod users by including phrases such as "crank up the tunes" and "bring in the noise" in lesson manuals related to the device, according to the complaint.

Patterson bought an iPod in 2005, according to the complaint, which didn't say if he has suffered hearing loss as a result of using it. Attorneys for Patterson did not return phone calls seeking comment.