Oscar Observations

Call me a tool, but as a movie buff, I enjoy watching the Academy Awards every year. Jon Stewart did a fantastic job, especially in light of the fact that he only had nine days with his writers to come up with the material. Here are my immediate reactions:

- Amazingly, the ceremony only lasted 3:17. Was it just me or was the allowed acceptance speech length before the "wrap it up" music unusually quick?

- This was the most predictable ceremony ever, in terms of the awards. Every winner in the acting categories was expected, even Marion Cotillard.

- And speaking of the winners, the damn Euros took all the acting awards!

- Where were the tits? There seemed to be a lack of cleavage-bearing dresses last night. That hurts the team.

- I don't know what it is but Javier Bardem exudes coolness, on and off the screen.

- Joel and Ethan Coen - you just won three Oscars. Would it kill you to show just a little excitement?

- Speaking of excitement, I was happy for Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová's win for Best Song from their movie, Once. Kudos to Jon Stewart for allowing Markéta to have her say after the commercial break.

- John Travolta- you aren't fooling anyone with that black Astroturf on your head.

- Tilda Swinton, meet Estee Lauder.

No Sir!

My parents raised me right, no matter how much of a little shit I might have been. Among the many things they instilled in me was to always say "Yes sir/ma'am" and "No sir/ma'am". Failing to do so would result in my mother digging her long finger nails into the flesh of my upper arm - and she wasn't satisfied unless she drew blood. I must say that it certainly worked. But if the statue of limitations hadn't already expired, I'd report her ass to DHR. In fact, even to this day there are times when I catch myself saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" to my parents' friends and other older folks.

However, I've long since reached the age where young folks call me "Sir" and whenever I hear it, I picture myself wearing a white undershirt and long shorts with dark socks while carrying a metal detector. Being reminded that you're getting old is by no means pleasant. I respect the fact that my friends are trying to teach manners to their kids just like my parents did, but I'll be damned if I actually want to hear that word directed toward me. It's one thing to have a small child call you "Sir", but I had a twenty-something say "Yes Sir" to me yesterday. Please kids, call me "Old Dude" or "Pops" - just don't call me "sir".

Random Thoughts

I know this show has been on the air for many years now but I've recently been watching a lot of Cops. And damned if I haven't gotten hooked on this shit like one of their criminals in crack. Some of the humans who inhabit this planet never cease to amaze me. What goes through the minds of some of these people? Domestic violence, prostitution, meth labs, oh my!

And speaking of TV, I'm simultaneously struck by two interjections:
Hooray! The strike is over!
And Shit! It's gonna be at least six weeks before new shows make it to the air!

The election is shaping up to be one of the most compelling in my lifetime. You've got two Dems that have been running neck and neck, although now it appears that Obama has jumped out in front and has all but sealed the nomination at this point. Alec Baldwin, of all people, had an interesting quote on The Huffington Post - "What Mrs. Clinton has that Mr. Obama does not have, Mr. Obama can get. What Mr. Obama has that Mrs. Clinton does not have, she can never get."

And, most interestingly, you have a Repub nominee that has bitterly divided his own party. It's quite amusing to watch the conservative pundits lose their shit over the prospect of McCain being their nominee and possibly their President. Hell, even Ann Coulter has said that she'd vote for Hillary before McCain.

I saw pollen on my goddamn hood the other day, which means spring is almost upon us (it also might explain the 18 gallons of snot I've blown out of my nose the past few weeks). But that also means one other thing - pitchers and catchers have reported. Baseball is almost here...

Look In The Mirror

More New Timing Rules Among NCAA Proposal

The NCAA Football Rules Committee on Wednesday announced several proposed changes, including two designed to speed up the game and others that altered several existing penalties.

The committee recommended administering a 40-second clock to start play after a preceding play ends, and starting the clock on a referee's signal after a play goes out of bounds.

Among the other recommendations: abolishing the 5-yard incidental face-mask penalty, adjusting the "chop block" rule to make it easier to understand and enforce, giving the receiving team the option to taking possession at the 40-yard line after an out-of-bounds kickoff and eliminating warnings for sideline control.

This is the third consecutive year the committee made recommendations to speed up play, a request made by TV networks. Previous recommendations have been criticized, as the changes came at a price of sacrificing the number of plays in a game, and some quickly were repealed.

So the TV networks are concerned that college football games are taking too long to play? Are you kidding me? Maybe it's due to the fact that there are TOO MANY F**king Commercials. I've grown full beards while watching games on TV. The networks complain about the length of games, yet they continue to sign gazillion dollar contracts which result in more ads and therefore longer games. Every new rule they've attempted to introduce has been a complete failure and these rules will be no different.

R.I.P. Chief Brody

This is an overdue tribute to Roy Scheider, who we lost the other day. He starred in many films over the years but he'll be best known for the role of Amity Police Chief Martin Brody in the blockbuster, Jaws. One of my all-time favorite movies, Jaws was effective not only for the scary monster aspect, but for the memorable characters as well. Robert Shaw was completely believable as Quint, the crochity old man of the sea. And who could forget Richard Dreyfuss as Hooper, the kooky marine biologist? But my favorite role was Scheider's Chief Brody. His steely disposition and fear of water ("You live on an island for chrissakes!") were key components to making him a believable character. And the memorable quotes? There were many:

"I can do anything; I'm the chief of police."

"They're in the yaahd, not too faah from the caah."

"Why don't we have one more drink and go down and cut that shark open?"

"I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this shit."

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

"Smile, you son of a bitch!"

He caught shit for making Jaws 2 and in spite of the fact that it's clearly inferior to the original, it's still a pretty damn good flick. R.I.P. We'll miss you, Chief.

Whatever Happened To.... Al Stewart?

Al Stewart a nasally-voiced, Scottish bloke who looked like the long lost brother of Eric Idle. He had a couple of hits in the late 70's with "Time Passages" and "Year Of The Cat", then hopped on the good ship Nowhere. He was actually quite a decent songwriter with a sophisticated style that befitted a type of soft soft jazz/rock. Probably best absorbed while stoned.

We're #1!

...in recruiting that is. After battling a week of sickness and snot, I arose from the dead yesterday to bask in the glory of National Signing Day for football recruits. The mighty Nick Saban bitch-slapped the rest of the field by signing the #1 class in America and the best class Bama has ever had. The proverbial icing on the cake was provided by the much anticipated signing of Mr. Julio Jones. Kudos to LSU Freak and EDSBS for the lovely animation.