Thoughts On Oscar 2007: Charles Jefferson, Ellen, Shadow Dancers, etc.

Another Oscar show is in the bag and here's my initial reaction. Overall, I thought the show was boring and looooooooooooong, even more so than usual. I love Ellen Degeneres but I thought she could've done better. Her opening monologue really wasn't that funny and her performance throughout was victimized by boring production. And the "home movie" segment before she came on was a nice idea but ended up being flat and dull due to the less famous nominees who participated.

There are still too many bullshit segments. The "movies in America" montage was unnecessary, as are most montages. The Foreign Language film montage? Zzzz. The Ennio Morricone honorary Oscar, while nice, was marred by the fact that apparently no one was prepared for his acceptance to be spoken in his native Italian tongue. What an awkward moment that was. And the Celine Dion number that was tacked on was a waste. The Will Ferrell/Jack Black/John C. Reilly number was amusing and welcome. But WTF was the deal with the silhouette dancers/shape shifters? That was just Dullsville.

As far as the awards themselves, there were really no surprises except for Alan Arkin's win. Congrats to Forest Whitaker, aka Charles Jefferson from Fast Times At Ridgemont High ("Don't FUCK with it"), for winning Best Actor. Also, kudos to Marty and The Departed for their wins. Overall, I give the show a C-. I hope Ellen gets another shot. Peace out.

P.S. With Forest Whitaker's win, that makes three former Fast Times actors who've won Oscars (Sean Penn, Nicolas Cage are the other two).

Bummed

I wish I was gay. Or something like that. The reason? I'm tired of my teams letting me down. I'm just tired of sports period. And most gay guys (at least the ones I know) don't care much for sports. They're more concerned with other things. They don't get their hearts broken every year over and over and over and over. What am I saying anyway? I need some sleep. At least I'm not a Cubs fan, I guess. Peace out.

Low Rent Robber

Here's one for the "World's Dumbest Criminals" blotter. This morning on the news there was a report about a local Dollar General store that had been robbed. I'm no expert but wouldn't it make more sense to select a little more higher end establishment? Whether you're stealing merchandise or money from the register, what's the most you're walking out with? A coupla hundred bucks perhaps?

This Week's Foot In Mouth Award Goes To...

...Big Ten Conference commissioner Jim Delany. Regarding the recent dominance of the SEC in football recruiting, this guy had the audacity to make the following comments on the Big Ten web site:

"I love speed and the SEC has great speed, especially on the defensive line, but there are appropriate balances when mixing academics and athletics," wrote Delany on the Big Ten website.

"I wish we had (seven) teams among the top 10 recruiting classes every year, but winning our way requires some discipline and restraint with the recruitment process," Delany wrote.

He also went on to say, "Not every athlete fits athletically, academically or socially at every university. Fortunately, we have been able to balance our athletic and academic mission so that we can compete successfully and keep faith with our academic standards."

How holier than thou of you, Jim. So Jim, you're basically saying that you refuse to compromise ethics and academics when it comes to recruiting, and that's why your coaches got their asses handed to them on signing day? What a load of crap. Yes, the SEC has had its share of troubles with the NCAA- they've had 21 incidents of major violations since 1989. But guess what? The Big Ten has had 17 run-ins during that same time period. You're conference isn't exactly a bunch of teetotalers either. Have you forgotten about Maurice Clarett? The Michigan basketball scandal? Academic fraud at Minnesota? Point shaving at Northwestern? Let's think before we throw stones next time.

Damn! That's what I call a MILF...er GILF.

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Random Why's...

Why is the media so obsessed with anna Nicole Smith? What exactly did she contribute to the world anyway?

Why do drivers freak out when it rains? Go already!

Why do men still have mullets? Don't you think by now that they'd realize that the world has been making fun of them for years now?

And speaking of men and their hair, why must they continue to apply products that spike their hair up? I'm especially talking to the Clausen brothers.

Why can't I stop watching the "To Catch a Predator" series on Dateline NBC? And why do these idiots keep falling for it?

Why does anyone care about the Grammy Awards?

Why do I have such a man-crush on Nick Saban?

Why do birds sing so gay?

Why are robots stealing my luggage?