WHOO-HOO!!

The fat bastard went down on Saturday, and I was giddy as a school girl. The Tide finally erased years of frustration with a win over Fat Phil Fulmer and the Tennessee Vols. I was dancing in the parking lot and I didn't care who saw me. Then when I got back to the 'ham, I taught my 3 year-old Goddaughter to say that "Auburn stinks like a poopy diaper" while watching them go down to LSU. All in all, it was a beautiful weekend.

FAT BASTARD

This weekend the Tide plays host to the UT Vols and The Great Pumpkin, otherwise known as Tennessee's head coach, Phillip Fulmer. This fat bastard has taken pleasure targeting the Tide nation, on and off the field. Words can't even begin to describe the hatred that Bama fans have for this sorry excuse for a man, especially after blowing the whistle on the Tide program.

I'll be returning to the scene of the crime this weekend. The five-overtime loss two years ago was the most agonizing and gut-wrenching experience of my life. If the Tide can pull off the victory on Saturday, I'll letting off a lot of steam by singing "Rammer Jammer" at the top of my lungs. ROLL TIDE!

From the TMI files: The other day I had a high fever so I went to see my doctor. Among other things, I ended up having a prostate probe in order to rule out any problems in that particular area. Now, I had never been probed down there (although there's more to come soon when I turn 40) and needless to say it was certainly a (red) eye-opening experience. There's nothing like having a doctor (especially a female) tell you to drop your pants and bend over. At that point, snide remarks and sophmoric jokes ("Ben? I'm Tommy- nice to meet you.", "Moooooon river...") are pointless.

This led me to wonder just how it is that some folks like to be pleasured in the nether regions of anal crater land, gay or not. I've heard of females who like a little putt-putt in the rear pucker. I'm pretty open minded, but I say poo poo to that idea. Some doors are meant to be exits and not entrances. Any comments are welcome.

Hazz Benz again


This weekend The Hazz Benz will be playing for a bunch of old folks at a 20 year HS reunion. This band is all about the cheese and gettin' the chicks humpin' and bumpin' on the dance floor. What could be better than watching a bunch of almost 40 year-old ladies booty shakin' their Mom jeans?

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