My Valentine's Road Trip

I went to see Aimee Mann perform in Atlanta on Tuesday night and I had a couple of interesting incidents on the drive over and the drive back. First of all, I stopped off at an exit to grab a bite to eat and pulled into a Chik-Fil-A. The drive-thru line was out the ass, so I decided to park and go inside. I couldn't believe what I witnessed next. It was Valentine’s Dinner Night at Chik-Fil-A. They had closed off a whole section and had a hostess, candle-lit tables and two servers. And if taking your date to Chik-Fil-A isn’t cheap enough, they were offering two free desserts with the purchase of two combo meals. If you’re in high school or a senior citizen or just want to do something cute with your kids on V-Day, I can understand. But really ladies, how would you react if your man told you he was taking you to Chik-Fil-A for Valentine’s Day?

And for the capper: on the way home I made a pit stop for gas, a snack and to shake the proverbial dew off my lilly. I approached the restroom, I opened the door...and lo and behold there’s a large black man sitting on the shitter taking a dump while talking on his cell phone. It was a single toilet bathroom and the guy didn’t have the brains or the courtesy to lock the fucking door. The odor was so putrid it knocked me back like heat from a hot oven. Instead, he had to go and ruin my evening (as well as my appetite). Thanks chief.