This Ought To Be Interesting

This morning I saw an announcement that Oasis and Ryan Adams will be touring together this winter in support of their new albums. I can't think of a more volatile gathering of egos and ill temperament. Some of you may recall my own Ryan Adams experience last year. And I spoke to a friend last week who related a story about a recent Ryan Adams tantrum in the ATL in which he stormed off the stage after 50 minutes because he was apparently upset at the lack of ticket sales. And Oasis? Please. Those guys are notorious for their own outbursts and infighting, most recently making news when a fan barnstormed the stage at Toronto's Virgin Festival. Either way, fans are sure to NOT get their money's worth at whatever show they choose to attend.

Sans Plant

After reuniting last year in London for one show, it seems that there might be a Led Zeppelin tour in the works, albeit without frontman Robert Plant. Plant has been reluctant to go forward with a tour after a year of speculation. Now it seems that Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones are ready to audition singers and proceed without him with Jason Bonham on drums.

"We want to do it. It's sounding great and we want to get on and get out there," said Jones at a guitar show in Exeter, southwest England.

"It's got to be right. There's no point in just finding another Robert. You could get that out of a tribute band, but we don't want to be our own tribute band," he added.

Um, except that's exactly what it would be if you go forward with this charade, John Paul. But JP and Jimmy aren't stupid. They realize that people (myself not included) will shell out countless dollars to sing along to their own version of live band karaoke. It'll be Field of Dreams ("People will come") all over again. But I'm sorry Jimmy (as well as Neil Schon, Mick Jones and Brian May) - Journey is not Journey without Steve Perry, Foreigner is not Foreigner without Lou Gramm and, for the love of God, Queen is not Queen without Freddie Mercury! No one wants to see David Freaking Coverdale shake his leather-clad ass while butchering "Whole Lotta Love".

So please, JP and Jimmy - continue to live comfortably off your royalties. Let this ludicrous idea die and your legacy remain intact.

Oh, What A Beautiful Morning

¡Música Mariachi Patadas Culo!

Ever since my return from Mexico, I haven't been able to shake the sound of mariachi music out of my head. There's something about traditional Mexican music that gets my blood pumping. So last night I did some research and downloaded an album by Nati Cano’s Mariachi Los Camperos, who skillfully arrange and perform versions of classic mariachi melodies. The recording is excellent and the music is beautiful, both vocally and instrumentally. They combine several styles of traditional music from many regions of Mexico and utilize various instrumentation, from harp to violins, as well as the usual percussion, horns and other stringed instruments. I think I'll just have to have myself a little Mexican fiesta and crank my new music.

* By the way, the translation of this post's title is "Mariachi Music Kicks Ass!"

What The Hell Are We Teaching Our Children ?!?

Any and all conversation that I have with our 22 year-old receptionist is a fascinating one, especially when it comes to the gaping divide that is our knowledge and understanding of pop culture. The other day, I was comparing a fellow employee's laugh to that of Ted Knight's Judge Smails character in Caddyshack (which is a whole other story), and she looked at me incredulously.

"You have seen Caddyshack, right?" I asked curiously.

"No, I haven't. Isn't that one of those stupid comedies? I don't like stupid comedies," she replied.

She then began to giggle as I stared at her with moribund curiosity. It turns out that she also hasn't seen Airplane, Fast Times or The Naked Gun. Now, I understand that we're dealing with a generational thing here. But Jesus, these are classics we're talking about. Almost everyone my age has seen the vintage comedies of our parents' youth - Dr. Strangelove, The Graduate, M.A.S.H., Blazing Saddles, etc. Just what the hell are parents teaching their kids nowadays anyway? Don't we owe it to ourselves and the survival of our species to expose our children to the classic comedic films of our time? They'll have no soul and no chance out there in the real world if we don't educate them. I implore you, dear readers, if you are a parent - don't let your kids grow up unenlightened.

I'm Have Superstition Sickness

Yesterday I went to the doctor and afterward went to the scheduling desk to set up my next appointment. The nurse asked me if January 8th was okay (since I'm diabetic, I go every 3-6 months). I pondered the month and day. January 8th, hmm...I read something recently about that date. Then it hit me - that's the night of the BCS National Championship game in Miami.

"No!" I told her. "If Alabama makes it to the NC, there's a chance that I'll be in Miami for the game."

She started tapping away at her computer when I exclaimed, to no one in particular, "Wait! Go ahead and book it. What was I thinking? If I had changed it, I would've jinxed the team. By making the appointment for January 8th, things will more likely work out for us. And I can always change the appointment."

I peered down at her behind the counter and she was looking at me like I was a nut case, which, let's face it, I am. Nothing stirs up my superstitious side like Alabama football. If I'm watching a game on TV and we're sucking, I'll change positions, chairs, or even rooms in order to change our luck. Hell, I'll even NOT watch if it means that we win. And it truly is a sickness. Just ask the scheduling nurse at Southview Medical Partners. At least my doctor can understand - she is, after all, married to Paul Finebaum.

¡Ay, caramba!

Sorry for being AWOL lately, but I've been taking advantage of a little R&R in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. It was quite an eventful week, starting with my near-drowning experience in the beautiful waters of the Sea of Cortes. The waves were huge and the red flags were waving, but that was of little concern to us as we observed several swimmers having a ball. I took a few steps into the surf only to be greeted by the biggest wave I've ever seen looming towards me (it was at least a 10 foot swell). I braced myself like I've done a thousand times before on the Gulf Coast, only this wasn't your typical gulf wave. The next thing I knew, I was taken down and being pulled out by the most powerful undertow I've ever experienced. And did my survival instincts kick in at that point? Um, no. I felt my swim trunks at my knees, so naturally I was more concerned about shrinkage exposure than I was about dying - we men are complete idiots. I crawled out of the water only to realize that my $200 Maui Jim sunglasses were gone, swallowed by the sheer force of the ocean. I hope the fish are enjoying my shades.

The near-death experience was followed by actual death in the "party pool". Apparently, a 90 year-old man enjoyed his last vacay by diving to the bottom of the pool for his glasses only to float to the surface a dead man. The paramedics arrived (casually of course), covered the body with resort towels (which were probably washed and re-used), and hauled him away. Surely, it was a lovely experience for the kids who witnessed it.


I also got to enjoy the sounds of Sammy Hagar during his annual birthday bash at Cabo Wabo. Unfortunately, my travel companion was back at the room yacking. But Sammy and his band kicked ass, playing a mixture of solo and Van Hagar material. Alas, I missed getting to see Michael Anthony jam with the band the next night, but it was still quite an experience.

And finally, we got to wait out an impending hurricane (Norbert) as our week coasted along to an end. Fortunately, it hit land Saturday about 300 miles north of us. All things considered, it was a relaxing week - good food, good beer, good times.

\ˈnü-klē-ər, ˈnyü-, ÷-kyə-lər\

While watching the VP debate last night, I couldn't help but notice Sarah Palin's mangling of the word "nuclear". Between her and Dubya, why is this word so difficult to pronounce? This isn't necessarily an indictment of any particular party - I just can't figure it out. Ask any Major League pitcher, no matter how good they are, if he has a batter(s) who continually tees off on them, and he'll always be able to rattle off at least one or more who almost always get the best of them. Just like them, I realize every person has a word or phrase that stumps them for no uncertain reason. But I find it ironic that a world leader (or potential one) would butcher that word in particular.