Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Axl Pose - WTF?


Axl's at it again. And I hate to say it but he's looking buttass ugly these days.

STOCKHOLM, Sweden -Axl Rose was arrested early Tuesday after allegedly biting a security guard in the leg in a hotel scuffle, police said. The Guns N' Roses frontman was held on suspicion of attacking and threatening the guard and causing damage to the Berns Hotel, said police spokeswoman Towe Hagg.

"He was deemed too intoxicated to be questioned right away," Hagg told The Associated Press. She said a prosecutor will decide whether to press charges.

It was unclear what caused the fight, but Swedish tabloids said the guard tried to intervene when the 44-year-old rocker started arguing with a woman in the hotel lobby. Police officer Fredrik Nylen was quoted by the daily Aftonbladet Web site as saying Rose acted aggressively toward police and had to be "handcuffed and restrained."

"He kept a high profile, so to speak," Nylen was quoted as saying.

Guns N' Roses played a concert in Stockholm's Globe Arena on Monday night, and had been partying at a well-known nightclub before the scuffle, Aftonbladet said.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Random Conversation


"Hey Bobby- I don't know about you but my ass is awful sore from getting buttreamed over the past few weeks. You got any aloe?"

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Breakin' The Law


I rolled through a stop sign yesterday and got a ticket. Those bastards actually had a roadside sting operation set up specifically to catch people rolling through that particular sign. They cited myself and two others. Meanwhile, white windowless rape vans with Texas plates sped through the interstates of downtown B-ham carrying drugs and illegal aliens.

Friday, June 16, 2006

The Freefallin' Braves


Losers of 14 out of their last 17 and now 13 games out of first. Well done boys!

Ah, the magic of Photoshop.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Enhancement for your Bathroom


Just when you thought you'd seen it all when it came to iPod accessories, here comes the iCarta. According to the manufacturer, it's designed to "enhance your experience in the smallest room". I don't need tunes while I'm on the throne- shiterature works just fine for me.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Soccer - I Just Don't Get It


Well, the World Cup is upon us and I have to say that I just don't understand the hype. I've tried to watch it- I really have. And don't get me wrong, I admire the conditioning and athleticism required to play the sport. But as entertainment, it's about as exciting as watching cars rust.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Keep Digging, Annie...


In case you haven't heard or read about Ann Coulter's new book (Godless: The Church of Liberalism) or her appearance on Tuesday's Today show, this woman has officially lost it. In her latest attempt to feed her rabid fan base of conservatives, she's taken a flying leap off the proverbial plank. She has ripped the widows of 9/11 victims by calling them "self-obsessed" and making such statements as:

- "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much."

- acting "as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them."

- saying the women used their grief “to make a political point.”

- "And by the way, how do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy..."

As Dennis Miller once said, you talk about balls the size of Alpha Centauri- Annie appears to be digging her own grave here. Like a scene out of Tin Cup, she's just lofting ball after ball into the drink and you just want her to stop for her own sake while cringing until your face is frozen. You go girl!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

This Just In...


From the "too good to be true" department comes this story. Jim Bob Cooter?!? I almost pissed my pants from laughing so hard when I saw this:

Tennessee quarterback suspended

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- Tennessee quarterback Jim Bob Cooter was suspended indefinitely Monday after campus police arrested him on a drunken-driving charge.
Coach Philip Fulmer cited a violation of team rules. He said Cooter will miss the season opener Sept. 2 against California and undergo an alcohol evaluation before he can return.

"Jim Bob has let the team down and embarrassed himself and his family by his actions," Fulmer said. "He has benefited greatly by being part of the Tennessee family, and with that comes great responsibility for his actions."

Cooter was arrested Saturday after campus officers noticed a sports utility vehicle crossing the center line and driving on the road side of the street, according to a campus police report. Cooter failed three field sobriety tests.

The quarterback was charged with first offense driving under the influence, the report said. A female passenger was charged with underage consumption of alcohol.

"He did not behave in a responsible manner, and he understands very clearly that even though this is his first offense, there will be consequences," Fulmer said.

Cooter earned his bachelor's degree in May but is to play a graduate student this fall. He did not attempt a pass in 2005 and made late appearances in one game each in 2003 and 2004 after redshirting in 2002.

This Week In Jazz Appreciation: Butch Warren


Butch was one of the most sought after bassists of the classic Blue Note era in the 50's and 60's, playing with such heavyweights as Sonny Clark, Herbie Hancock and Joe Henderson. However, as I found out from this recent article, his life unfortunately took a turn for the worse. This is pretty sad:

Decades of Discord Lie Between a Man and His Music
By Marc Fisher, Washington Post
Sunday, May 21, 2006


The staff at Springfield Hospital Center -- Butch Warren refers to it only as "the loony bin" -- knows him as "Ed." He's one more guy whose mental illness got him in trouble and landed him in a state hospital 50 miles from home, locked up in a secure ward, behind a chain-link fence.

Warren, 66, looks older than that. He has lost a lot of teeth. His gait is uncertain; his gaze, distant. "This is about the best place I've ever lived," he says of the mental hospital, with its barren walls and eerie silence. After a couple of years living on the street, sleeping in shelters in the District and Montgomery County and doing a stint in the Prince George's Correctional Center in Upper Marlboro, he is grateful for a roof and three meals and the prospect of being allowed, someday, to walk up the road a bit to the campus canteen.

Hardly anyone at Springfield knew who Butch Warren is, or was, until a few weeks ago, when a worker on the ward got curious and Googled him. Thirty-five thousand pages on the Internet describe the life's work of a man who spends his days waiting for his next meal, scrounging up a cig, playing pool and hoping someone might find him a spot in a group home, a place where maybe he can get his bass back.

After the worker printed out Warren's biography from a few encyclopedias of music, and after folks started listening to him tooling around on the piano in the hospital gym, word began to spread that "Ed" was one of the great bassists of jazz's glory years.

I first heard Warren six years ago at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Southwest Washington, where he would show up to play in whatever combo was performing at the church's Jazz Night program. Most musicians played the church on Fridays for fun; Warren loved the "spirituality" of the gig, but he also did it for the money -- $75 cash. It was, for a time, his only work.

When Warren took the stage, folks at Westminster nudged one another to listen up: You won't believe who this guy really is. Other musicians dressed casually, but Warren wore a suit -- narrow lapels, thin tie, the look of a bebop man from 45 years ago. And then the sound: Man, did he swing. Made it all seem effortless, the essence of cool.

The stories about Warren turned out to be true. He was the bassist on the original recording of Herbie Hancock's "Watermelon Man" and regular bass man for Thelonious Monk's groundbreaking quartet in the early '60s. As house bassist for Blue Note Records for six years, he's on dozens of records, many with the top names in jazz. In Washington, he was best known for his spot in the band on Channel 4's 1960s daily talk show "Today With Inga."

Half a century ago, Warren was a comer. His father, pianist Edward Warren, and his mother, a singer named Natalie, lived at Fifth and Kennedy streets NW and made their place a refuge where black musicians could go after their gigs for a good dinner and an evening free of worries about who was allowed in which establishment.
The Warrens sent their boy off to South Carolina to study music. When he came home, he played with the stars who came to Washington to play the Howard Theater and the Bohemian Caverns, guys like Stuff Smith and Kenny Dorham, who told Warren that he had the goods to play in New York.

At 19, he made the move. Warren found steady work, in clubs and on records. His steady, unobtrusive rhythm and classy, unshowy solos made him the perfect studio musician. His playing had just enough of the blues and just enough bop adventure to make him enticing to leading musicians.

But like many players of that era, Warren fell into drinking and drugging. "Heroin," he says. "I always liked that heroin better than cocaine. I joke about it, but that heroin is ridiculous. There's nothing funny about it."

Then, in 1963, one of Warren's best friends, pianist Sonny Clark, died of a heroin overdose. Warren told a French magazine that "after Sonny died, I didn't feel like working anymore." Later that year, when President Kennedy was assassinated, Warren felt overwhelmed. The magazines would say that he had simply disappeared. But he actually went home, where he felt safer.

"Just people dying all around me," he says. "I felt like I was going to die. I got scared. I came home to Washington and saw the president's body passing by the White House, and I checked myself into St. Elizabeths. They said I was paranoid schizophrenic. It just came over me; the drugs was part of it. Before that, I'd been fine."

Warren stayed at St. E's for a year. There were shock treatments, but there was also a bass at the hospital, and Warren met other musicians, who helped get him out. Back in circulation, Warren kept working as long as he stayed on his medication. He played at Cafe Lautrec in Adams Morgan and The Embers, a dinner spot on Connecticut Avenue. Some years, he got by on his music work; other times, he took on day jobs, repairing radios and TVs at a Northwest shop, doing mop-up at the Naval Ordnance Lab.
For three decades, Warren was a mystery to many in Washington's jazz scene. He'd drift in and out, play a club for a while, then vanish. "There's a whole mountain of issues," says Peter Edelman, a pianist who has taken in Warren for extended periods and is keeping his bass for him. "He's rather optimistic and upbeat, but he's delusional from time to time. He can be a very perceptive observer of current events. He sees through all the charlatans out there these days."

In the 1980s, Edelman would hire Warren to play society parties, "so he could get some real money." He played steadily at Twins, a District jazz club, through most of the past few years, but then stopped taking his pills. He'd show up and play "hunched over, swaying his arms, even drooling a bit, scaring the audience a little," Edelman says. "When we gave him the choice between going back on his medication or losing the gig, Butch said, 'Peter, don't I have the right to be crazy if I want to be?'"

Warren lived in a subsidized complex for seniors in Silver Spring until he was evicted about two years ago. Edelman says the unkempt condition of Warren's kitchen was the problem; Warren says it was complaints about his late-night guests. In any event, the musician was on the street.

"My tuxedo is gone," he says. "I don't have anything. I miss my bass. I have no instrument here, so I've been singing. Never had much of a voice, but some people say I'm singing okay."

At the hospital in Sykesville, Warren looks uncharacteristically casual in a plaid flannel shirt and khakis, but one look at his hands summons the image of the lean, sad-eyed gent standing by his instrument, staring into the distance, his long, elegant fingers flying up and down the bass, his sounds inviting listeners into his private world.

He was in that solitary place one cold day this past winter, walking around in Greenbelt, when he passed a shop with an open door. The shop's alarm was ringing, he says, and no one was inside, so he walked in to warm up. When the police came, they arrested him and charged him with burglary. Maybe that's how it was, and maybe not. What is clear is that that's how he landed in the lockup.

Not many folks have patience left for Butch Warren. Edelman has done what he can for his friend. "I understand it's not possible to save every gift from the Creator, but nobody wants to be homeless," Edelman says. "Butch can't take care of himself. But he can still play."

Warren seems barely aware that there are still fans out there, people who cherish every measure of his recorded work. Bertrand Uberall, a mathematician and jazz archivist who works at the Library of Congress, has dug up Warren's recordings and tracked down his compositions, recorded by artists such as Dexter Gordon and Jackie McLean. "Butch is a fantastic bassist," Uberall says. "Even in the latest years, he was still playing very well."

At Twins Lounge, "People ask me all the time, 'Is Butch playing?' " says co-owner Kelly Tesfaye. "The people all respected him and gave him food. I gave him food. He needs help so much."

The Rev. Brian Hamilton, pastor at the jazz church, used to see Warren almost every week. "He usually didn't say much, but if you caught him at the right moment, he'd fill your ear. One time, we had him come to church and talk about jazz. What he said was that this was a wonderful world."

Monday, June 05, 2006

Unrest in East Timor - The World Watches Breathlessly


I saw this story on the internet today. This is one of the major world headlines right now, which is interesting since I've never even heard of East Timor. Check out this photo- I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually using a slingshot as a weapon, besides Beaver Cleaver of course. Wow, talk about primitive weaponry.

And here's another photo that I saw from the same story:



Apparently, the New Zealand Army regularly performs some ritualistic dance. It looks to me like a bunch of tools doing a country line dance. I can certainly see how battling the New Zealand militia would strike fear in the hearts and minds of their enemies. Ah, those wacky New Zealanders.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

DorkCenter


When did ESPN SportsCenter anchors become such tools? I remember when that was considered a cool job and the anchors were clever smartasses and/or at the very least, savvy professionals- Keith Olberman, Dan Patrick, Larry Biehl and Craig Kilborn (before he totally dorked out himself) immediately come to mind. And what's with the ridiculous home run euphamisms and buzz words? Just say "It's gone" and move on. I miss those days.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Please God - Make it Stop


Election day is next Tuesday it cannot get here soon enough. There are signs and ads all over the damn place and the mudslinging is in high gear. I can't remember a time when the local political climate has been this negative. And the brilliant campaign organizers have determined that we Alabamians are so ignorant that we'll vote for a candidate based on any number of key buzzwords used in their ads. If I hear "conservative Alabama values" one more time, I'm going to puke. Every candidate describes him or herself in this way, making it impossible to distinguish one from the other. Of course, it won't end after next week because I'm sure there will be run-off elections. Calgon take me away!