I got the new Rolling Stone year-end issue the other day and while flipping through it, I realized just how old and out of touch I am with current artists. Either that, or most new music sucks ass (probably a little of both). In the Top 100 songs of 2006 category, I counted exactly 7 songs that I had actually heard. That's right- 7. In the category of Top 50 albums of 2006, my percentage was slightly better. I own 6 of the 50 they listed. I'm gonna go listen to some Rodrigo y Gabriella. Word.
I spent last night attempting to wrap my Christmas presents with sad/hilarious results. Gift-wrapping is something that has been beyond my understanding all of my life. I wrap about as good as I rap, which is quite horrible. Honestly, I can't for the life of me wrap a simple Goddamn present. They usually end up looking like something that Martha Stewart would vomit after a few too many glasses of spiked egg nog - basically an ugly mess of paper and tape in glorious holiday colors. People have tried to teach me and it's pointless. I've tried and tried but unfortunately, gift-wrapping is on a level of coordination that apparently is out of my reach.
By now, I'm sure most of you heard about the feud between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. To sum up the events thus far- Donald decided to give his skanky little Miss USA a second chance and Rosie went off on him on The View for acting as a "moral compass". And now it's continuing to escalate into an all-out brawl through the media. I haven't talked to anyone who gives a rip what either of these attention whores has to say. Personally, I think both of them are full of shit and I wish they would take heed of the friendly soldier's message that's pictured above.
For any of you who give a rat's ass, here's my Top Ten list of albums for 2006:
1. The Beatles - Love George Martin and his son have taken the original Beatle master tapes and created a mish-mashterpiece.
2. Hem - Funnel Cloud My new favorite band's latest was an instant classic.
3. Daniel Tashian - The Lovetest Nashville's Daniel Tashian is my new favorite crazy bastard (i.e. Ryan Adams) of a songwriter. This infectious album wasn't even officially released - it was made available on Tashian's blog page.
4. Lindsey Buckingham - Under The Skin The genius turned finiished this one in a shade under a decade, and it was worth the wait.
5. Teddy Thompson - Separate Ways The son of Richard and Linda Thompson has proven that he has the goods. Great voice, great songs.
6. Hem - No Word From Tom A collection of unreleased songs, live tracks and covers, including Radiation Vibe by Fountains of Wayne and So. Central Rain by R.E.M.
7. The Dixie Chicks - Taking The Long Way Yes, I admit that I love this album. It's not even country- it's more along the lines of 70's California pop.
8. Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat The Rilo Kiley singer's first solo album is excellent, with some help from the harmonically angelic voices of the Watson Twins.
9. The Bees - High Society Daniel Tashian's (see #3) current band's sophmore release, which is even better than the first.
10. Garrison Starr - The Sound of You and Me This was my first introduction to Garrison Starr, who's been around for awhile. I feel her pain.
There have been some new revelations this week regarding the deaths of Princess Diana and her boyfriend - something about a murder conspiracy, US gov't wiretaps, blah blah blah. Look, it was a tragedy and I hate that both families had to go through something this horrible. But Jesus, it's been 10 years! Why are people still consumed with this story? It's over - can we please move on? I'm done.
Bob Barker turns 83 friggin' years old today. I had no idea Bob was that ancient, although I guess it makes cents (heehee-get it?) considering how long that codger has been on the air. And he's still going strong, too. Bob's gonna keep hosting The Price Is Right until he literally drops dead during a taping. Some young stud is gonna give that number wheel such a strong yank that the gust of air caused by the wheel's spin will simply knock Bob off his feet and onto death's doorstep, which is exactly the way you know he wants to go. And you just know that dude has banged every model that has come and gone on that show, too. In fact, my earliest boy crushes were on Janet and Diane. Damn those were some hot dames. Kudos to you Bob-O, and Happy Birthday!
I've been listening to a lot of 70's rock lately, enjoying the relaxed feel of that mellow production that you never hear anymore thanks to digital technology. There's something about that warm, analog sound and dry snare drum thud that makes me all tingly inside. Nothing about modern studio/computer engineering comes close. Today's production is too slick and sterile for me to conjure up any kind of feeling about the music, not to mention the lack of overall songcraft these days. Ah, a hammock, a cold beer and the smooth sounds Boston and The Eagles sounds pretty good right now...
Every Sunday at noon, while other networks are kicking off their NFL games, ESPN goes into full-blown PBA coverage. For the misinformed out there, PBA stands for Professional Bowling (or Bowlers, I don't know and don't care) Association. Lately, professional bowling has experienced a rebirth in popularity, as evidenced by the crowds who attend these televised events in such towns as Molar Crack, OH and yes, Birmingham, AL. Now I don't have a problem with recreational bowling. Drinking pitchers and rolling big heavy gutter balls can be quite fun on occasion. What I don't understand is how or why anyone would watch the pros do it on TV. They pretty much place the ball where they want and bowl a strike or at least a spare EVERY time. That's hardly enough drama to compel me to watch. Even PGA golfers fuck up from time to time. It's like mastering your favorite video game. Once you've gone as far as you can go, it gets boring and you move on to the next one. Also, these guys are some of the biggest tools you'll ever see. With their tight clothing and their manly mustaches, these guys could definitely pass for motorcycle cops if they wore blue and had mirrored sunglasses on. If someone could explain the PBA phenomenon to me, I'm all ears.