Guess what I did today? I went to UAB hospital for a surgical consult. Here’s how it went, with the times as close to accurate as I can remember:
10:05 – Left work for my 10:30 appointment.
10:17 – Entered the Kirkland Clinic parking deck.
10:25 – After driving up 5 levels and not finding a space, exited the deck.
10:30 – Entered another parking deck down the street and found a space.
10:40 – After walking through a seemingly endless maze of hallways, found the front desk and signed in. I also had to fill out papers with all the usual medical questions.
11:30 – Finally got my name called to go into a patient room.
11:45 – A female resident entered to ask me more questions. She was okay looking but had a nasally voice.
12:00 – The doctor finally saw me and talked to me about the surgery. Nice guy.
12:15 – A nurse practitioner came in to ask me the same questions that I answered when I checked in and got me to sign some papers. She was kind of attractive but married and too old anyway (by old I mean she was about my age).
12:25 – The NP walked me down the hall to another room, where I met with the surgery scheduler. She then called downstairs and set me up to go to an early pre-op. She was fugly.
12:30 – Checked in at the pre-op desk to fill out even more papers with the same damn questions.
1:00 - Finally got my name called to go into a patient room.
1:05 – A nurse comes in and takes my BP. She wasn’t a match on the race scale.
1:30 – Yet another nurse practitioner comes in and asks me the same damn questions AGAIN! Says an anesthesiologist will be in shortly. She was old enough to be my mother.
1:40 – Another nurse comes in and takes my EKG reading. She was okay but again too old (by old I once again mean my age).
2:00 – The NP comes back in and says that since I have sleep apnea, I won’t be having the surgery done at their outpatient facility after all. Almost four hours since I left work, I’m finally free to go.
Good times…
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