The Death Of Music, Part 5

I'm a member of a fitness place that I try to attend a few times a week. You never know what you're gonna get when it comes to the music that's played over the stereo speakers, which is why I usually take my iPod. On this day, however, I was stuck listening to some "modern rock" station that plays mostly crap. I heard a song that almost made me throw up in my mouth. The song was "Addicted" by a band called Saving Abel. First of all, the name of the band is completely puerile. I can see the douche bags now, preening and posing for their next press photo. Secondly, the music was about as bland as boiled celery. But it was the lyrics of the song that literally made me stop my workout and stare at the speakers. Here's the chorus, in all its perspicacious glory:

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When your going down on me
In between the sheets
All the sounds you make
With every breath you take
Its unlike anything
when you're loving me

That's poetry my friends. Somewhere out there in a New Orleans studio, Bob Dylan is gushing with pride at the prominent legacy he's left upon the music gods of today. Let us rejoice.

The Police

Having missed out on last year’s Police reunion tour, I had hoped and expected that they would release a live DVD or CD. My prayers were answered with the release of their new live DVD/CD at Best Buy (the only place you can buy it) called Certifiable. What an outstanding set. They played and sounded as good as ever and tinkered just enough with their arrangements and keys to make it interesting without destroying the songs (although I can’t for the life of me figure out why they decided to pull the insipid “Walking In Your Footsteps” out of the song catalog).

After my Kiss obsession during 1st & 2nd grade, The Police were one of the first bands that I could claim as my own discovery. Up until then, I’d mainly been exposed to artists that I had heard from my parents or from friends. It all started with the hits off of the Zenyatta Mondatta album (“Don’t Stand So Close To Me” and “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da”). I was fascinated by the rhythms, the melodies and the vocals themselves, which I came to find out later were just the extremely tight harmonies of one man’s voice (Sting) layered on top of each other. But it was the release of Ghost In The Machine and the album’s subsequent videos that really hooked me. Here was a band that was making hip, fresh music and I had no idea what they looked like - until the videos for “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” and “Spirits In The Material Word”. I thought they were the coolest dudes I’d ever seen, especially Stewart Copeland in his Izod shirt and sunglasses. I immediately bought the rest of their catalog, including Outlandos d’Amour, Regatta de Blanc (as well as the aforementioned Zenyatta Mondatta) and immersed myself into the world of The Police, sitting in my dad’s study for hours with headphones on, listening to each record intently.

When Synchronicity was released, I almost peed my pants in anticipation. The band didn’t disappoint. I spent so much time listening to this album that I literally wore out the grooves on the record. At the time I didn’t know what the hell Sting was singing about (“There’s a skeleton choking on a crust of bread?”) but I didn’t care. It was a brilliantly written and beautifully performed masterpiece (except for “Footsteps” and “Mother” of course). On top of that, I got to see them live at their peak on the Synchronicity Tour in '83. Although I was initially skeptical of the reunion tour, I’m glad they did it, if only for my re-discovery of one of the greatest rock bands of our generation.

Yes Sir, Coach!

Skip to around 2:30. Where's a brick wall when you need one?

TT's All-time Favorite Athletes

I don't normally watch commercials, but the new Dr. Pepper ad with Dr. J is hilarious. It took me of the good ole days of the NBA, just after the merger with the ABA. It also reminded me of my very short list of favorite all-time athletes. I'm going to stick with the three major sports here - baseball, basketball and football. Here tis, in no particular order:


Baseball - Hank Aaron
As a lifelong Braves fan, I endured many years of suffering during my childhood. The one bright spot was Hank Aaron. From the time I could walk, I sported a #44 Braves jersey (as well as a crimson #12 but we’ll get to that later). The record-breaking home run #715 was the defining sports moment during my childhood. By the time I was old enough to read, I was at the school library, checking out every book I could find about Hank. It was especially satisfying to know that he was born and raised here in Alabama. Years later, I did something that I had never done before or since – I wrote a letter to a famous athlete. The letter was to Hank Aaron and on the 25th anniversary of #715 and it was in appreciation for his accomplishments on and off the field. There has never been anyone better.


Basketball – Julius “Dr. J” Errrrrrrrrrrving
He was simply known as The Dr. Before Jordan, there was #6, and he was every bit as talented. With his fro and his swagger, Erving dazzled millions of fans with his moves and his mojo. He even tried his hand at acting as Moses Guthrie in the forgotten yet classic flick, The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh. Although he did win one championship with the Sixers, he very well could have won more had he been surrounded with more talent for a longer period of time.


Football – Joe Namath
Last but not least, Namath was simply THE coolest athlete to ever roam the planet. During the late 60’s/early 70’s, there wasn’t a heterosexual male in America who didn’t want to be Broadway Joe for just one day. Canon arm? Check. Super Bowl ring? Check. Swarmed by the ladies? Check. This guy was the S.H.I.T. And on top of that, he played at Bama for The Bear. He still visits T-town on occasion and still draws crowds and standing ovations wherever he goes. Quite simply, he is still THE MAN.

CGI OD

I finally got around to watching Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull this week. As a huge fan of the original Indy trilogy, I was excited yet apprehensive when I heard that Lucas & Spielberg were shooting a fourth installment. Apprehensive because I was let down by the Star Wars prequel trilogy of the past ten years. Not only was I disappointed by the story and the actors, I felt like George Lucas went overboard with the computer effects. It just didn't have the organic feel of the original trilogy. That's why I loved the Indy movies. This swashbuckling series had PLAUSIBLE old school movie stunts with REAL stuntmen.

Which brings us to the new Indiana Jones film. Not only were the stunts implausible (a guy standing spread eagle between two jeeps speeding side by side through a bumpy jungle? Could TOTALLY happen. Not.), but the movie as a whole was CGI'd to death. The chases felt fake, the creatures felt fake (those stupid giant ants looked like a kid playing high-speed color by numbers on a computer) and the set design felt fake. And our beloved characters surviving not one, not two, but THREE giant water falls? Yeah, that would absolutely happen in real life. Look, I'm not saying that I'm incapable of using my imagination when watching a movie but come on, George and Steve, we're not children. The feel of the first three Indy films was simply not there. Note to Steve, George, Michael Bay and every other filmmaker out there: Just because you have the technology doesn't mean you have to use it ALL the time in EVERY scene.

History

Yesterday's election was certainly historical. But for some reason, I don't feel that way. Don't get me wrong, I understand the significance in the big scheme of things. But for some reason, I don't see it as Barack Obama being elected the first African-American President - I simply see it as Barack Obama being elected President. And to me, that's more historical than anything else.

Voting

I voted today. Barely. Knowing I had to work late today, I got up early this morning in order to hit my voting location at 7:00. As I arrived at 6:55, my jaw dropped - there was a line of people wrapped around the building. Not only was the main lot full, but there were cars parked for a half mile past the building. "Screw this," I said and drove on to work. By 9:15, I figured the lines had died down, so I drove back over there. The line was long but not as bad as before. However, it still took a solid hour wait to get my ballot. I've voted at this same location for 8 years and I've never had to wait more than 25 minutes.

Strangely, each line was huge except for the "L-R" line, which never had more than 5 people. You'd think that they would have crunched the numbers in terms of how many with each last name - I guess that made too much sense. You would also think that they could find volunteers other than retired blue hairs (students perhaps?) to collect signatures and distribute ballots. As sweet as these folks might be, they move with the speed of a Sam's Wholesale employee. And no one knew what the hell they were supposed to do when they entered the building. Do we wait in the main line? Or do we make a run for the "Last Name" line? There was one soft-spoken, little old lady walking around explaining to everyone where to go and what to do. It didn't help. I could barely hear her when she was standing right in front of me. What they needed were large signs and/or a large woman with a train whistle for vocal cords shouting instructions to everyone. I think I'll be advocating and running for a new office - Voting Nazi.

Ding Dong, The Pumpkin's Gone!