Kathryn

Last Thursday I lost a dear old friend of mine, Kathryn Hayes Calhoun. Kathryn and I used to be camp counselors together, and I had not seen her in many years. But we had re-connected on Facebook in recent months, and I was happy to see that she had a lovely family with three young children. I spent nine summers at the aforementioned camp, with some of those having an underlying misery despite all the good times and good friends. This was due to the strain of my parents’ divorce during my teen years. The summers of ’85-’89 were the tough ones for me. Although I stayed home from camp during the summer of ’89 to be with my girlfriend (who, naturally, subsequently dumped me that June), there was tragedy at camp that summer as three four kids that I knew very well were in a serious car accident - two of whom were killed. I was also arrested for (brilliantly) possessing a fake ID while on the way to visit camp the very next week. Good times indeed.

Which brings us to the summer of 1990. I was back at camp as a senior counselor, along with a terrific group of guys and girls, including Kathryn, who bonded very effectively. I already knew Kathryn fairly well, although we had never worked together at the same time. But we became really good friends that summer, and spent many hours laughing together. In fact, she was always laughing or smiling. She had sass as well as a beautiful spirit. I’ve racked my brains over the past few days trying to remember a single time when she was ever pissed off and I just can’t (although I’m certain she had her moments). She was one of the most kind and thoughtful people I’ve ever known. That summer of 1990 was, and is to this day, the best summer of my life. I miss all those guys very much - Susan, Harriet, Barrett, Noel, David, Mary Ellen, Bert, Mary Virginia, Ross and many others - they’ll never know how much they meant and still mean to me. Losing Kathryn has reminded me of that. I wish so much that I could call Kat right now – I still vividly remember the tone of her voice and, of course, her laugh. We kept in touch for awhile and I even went to see her while she was at UGA. But we lost touch eventually. I’m going to regret for a long time having lost touch with her over those years. From now on, I’m going to do a better job of keeping up with the others from that summer.

I went to Kathryn’s funeral yesterday and, like two hundred other people, had to stand outside the church during the service – it was a full house. That’s only a small hint of the effect she had on those of us who were so lucky and privileged to have known her. The sight of Kathryn’s three children following their mother’s casket into the church yesterday is a haunting image that I’ll never get out of my head. At one point, her youngest daughter looked up from the shoulder of the woman who was carrying her and I saw Kathryn’s face in her – she looked so much like her. I’ll miss Kathryn dearly.