I'm Not Sure What To Feel

One of my all-time favorite bands, The Police, have announced that they'll be reuniting for the Grammys next month. I'm torn between thinking this is cool and thinking it's complete waste of time. When they broke up twentysomething years ago, it was sad knowing that they'd never play together again. At the time, they were at their peak, having accomplished everything they could possibly imagine. They were the biggest band in the world. But it was also very cool to see someone go out on top for a change.

For years I hoped that they would get over their issues and reunite. But then around the early 90's, Sting apparently had his ballsack removed and started putting out total crap (remember that stupid song/chant that was in that car commercial?). I started to realize that The Police not getting back together wasn't such a bad idea after all. Then in 2003, they were inducted into the R&R Hall of Fame and indeed reunited to perform several songs. It was okay but they had certainly lost their edge. No matter how good they were back in the day, they just couldn't replicate the same sound and energy that they had once commanded with ease. It was then that I realized that they had made the right decision not to ever reunite, and I made peace with myself about it. And now this. I just have a bad feeling about it, especially when they're choosing the pointless fucking Grammy Awards ceremony as a launching point. But of course I'll watch because the tool in me won't let me NOT watch.

TT Throws Tantrum, Has A Revelation

I was sitting at home Tuesday night, suffering through yet another Tide basketball meltdown vs. Auburn when I finally lost control and threw my TV remote to the floor. Naturally, it came apart and a 1/2" nut connected to a small square piece of plastic came tumbling out of the inside. I was able to snap it back together, albeit sans nut, and alas, it didn't work. My remote, and in a small way my life, was broken.

So I made the dreadful drive to Charter headquarters, fully expecting to pay God knows how much for a new remote and receive a stern lecture from the always pleasant Charter window teller. There was of course a line, so as I was standing there I noticed a woman behind the teller windows motioning towards me.

She as holding a brand new bubble wrapped remote in her hand and mouthed the words, "Do you need this?"

I said, "Um...yeah," and walked forward to make the exchange with no questions asked.

"Is that it?" I asked, not sure what to do next.

She nodded and I immediately got the hell out of there before the cable police could come after me. As I walked to my car, I reflected on what had just taken place. I took a broken DVR remote control to Charter and had it replaced at no charge and with no questions asked. Do you realize what this means? I can pretty much chunk my remote anytime I want without fear of consequences. I keed- I won't really do that. Okay, maybe once.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!?"

There's a classic video clip of Vince Lombardi yelling those exact words from the sideline during a game when his team wasn't performing particularly well. That's my current feeling about the Bama basketball team. What was once a giddy feeling about our basketball team's prospects this season has turned into a nightmare. Having grown up during the Wimp Sanderson era, it's unfathomable to me for a Tide team to play such poor defense. Wimp's mantra was "if you don't play defense, you don't play." Mark Gottfried needs to get nasty on his team and bring them back down to earth or else it's gonna get even uglier.

Don't Give Fat Phil Any Ideas

Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl decided to mingle with the student dorks at last night's UT women's basketball game by going shirtless and painting himself orange with a "V" on his chest. I'm speechless other than to say what a friggin' loser. I can only pray for the love of everything good and holy that Fat Phil doesn't follow suit.

Oh My God! Sleet!

I was flipping channels last night and happened upon a segment on Fox 6 News called "Sleet Sighting". They had a reporter on location standing next to a car with sleet on it. Not snow. Sleet. I shit you not. Every year we're inundated with local newscasts freaking out over the threat of snow flurries, but sleet?!? I know I've gone off on weather morons before, but this is getting ridiculous. And people in the south wonder why northerners make fun of us...

American Bad Ass

The helmet, the mirrored sunglasses, the moustache, the headset communicator, the leather jacket, the black boots, the badge, the overwhelming need to compensate for being a complete loser in high school. Is there anything cooler than being a motorcycle cop?

Way to go Suckeyes!

Kudos to the national media and all the Big Ten asslickers out there for corrrectly predicting an Ohio State blowout. It was a blowout alright. Although I still hate Florida, it was nice to see OSU get their asses handed to them by an SEC team. Incidentally, here's a rundown of OSU's recent bowl record against SEC teams:

Sugar 1/1/78 - Alabama 35 Ohio State 6
Hall of Fame 1/1/90 - Auburn 31 Ohio State 14
Citrus 1/1/93 - Georgia 21 Ohio State 14
Citrus 1/2/95 - Alabama 24 Ohio State 17
Citrus 1/1/96 - Tennessee 20 Ohio State 14
Outback 1/1/01 - S. Carolina 24 Ohio State 7
Outback 1/1/02 - S. Carolina 31 Ohio State 28
BCS 1/8/07 - Florida 41 Ohio State 14

Nick!

Two Thumbs Down!

For those of you thinking about renting The Wicker Man - don't. You'd think that a movie with Nicolas Cage and Ellen Burstyn would be worth a crap but it's not. In fact, it might be one of the worst films that I've ever seen. Word.

The Waiting is the hardest part...