Transportation Security Administration chief Kip Hawley is proposing to allow small scissors and tools back onto airliners and (SHOCK!) it's drawing strident opposition from flight attendants, families of victims of the Sept. 11 hijackings and lawmakers. The plan would allow airline passengers to carry scissors less than 4 inches long and wrenches and screwdrivers less than 7 inches long.
First of all- no one named Kip should wield any kind of authority whatsoever, unless they're running for president of the Saved By The Bell fan club. Secondly Kipster, how long do you think those box cutters were that the 9/11 hijackers used? That's right Kip, probably not very long. If you buy one at Home Depot and hold it next to your little pecker, you'll see that they can make them pretty small. You don't think they could inflict any harm with scissors or a screwdriver?
So we have to wait a little longer at the airport for security purposes. So we might have to go buy another set of nail clippers due to confiscation. That's a small price to pay for not dying on an airplane. Get to the airport earlier Skip. Or how about checking a bag once in awhile? And while you're at it, change you friggin' name! Where do you think Kip Tyner is now? That's right- still diggin' for mud in T-town.
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1 comment:
The only people who have a valid reason to carry scissors onto the plane would be hairdressers (who call their scissors "shears", woo-hoo). If they check their bags and their shears get lost, they're in trouble (plus some professional shears cost over $1,000, I kid you not - not mine though, mine ran about $300. Each. Again, I kid you not.)
I'd love to see a terrorist trying to masquerade as a hairstylist, that would be a great skit for "Mad TV."
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