An Idiot Spreading Wisdom

We have a young whippersnapper at work who comes in part-time after getting out of school in the afternoon. The other day he was bemoaning the fact that he's been "talking to" two girls and can't decide which one to proceed in asking out on a date. And he was asking for advice about what to do, as if I was some sort of sage guru of love. First of all, anyone who knows me is cognizant of the fact that seeking dating advice from me is ludicrous and counterproductive. Secondly, there is the small matter of a fact of life that we cannot control and that I imparted on this young man: that all men are idiots.

There are many levels and layers of idiocy that we as men travel through during our lifetime. As kids, we're simply oblivious to the outside world and the consequences of our thoughts and actions. But as we reach our teen years, it turns into what I call "complete f***ing idiocy". It morphs over time and through the years into different categories - incorrigible idiocy, unadulterated idiocy, irreparable idiocy, and so on. By the time we die, we're just plain "idiots". Men are idiots in any and all scenarios, whether it's school, family, or work. But nothing brings out the true colors of our idiocy like dealing with the opposite sex. Women are our Kryptonite, causing detrimental harm to our brain functionality as well as our collective psyche. They make us do and say things that we would never, for the life of us, attempt to do in any normal situation. This is the power that women have over us, and there is nothing we can do to prevent it.

Once I explained this to him, he gazed at me with a blank stare of confusion. "Poor bastard," I thought to myself. "He has no idea."