Ultimate Gayness

Is it possible for something to be (supposedly) badass and gay at the same time (not that there's anything wrong with that)? Let's examine this. At my weekly sports bar gig, there are a couple of TV's that show Ultimate Fighting (or MMA or whatever the eff you want to call it), and it's all I can do to keep from spitting out my beer from laughter when I glance up and witness these tough guys grappling around the ring like Brokeback Cowboys in pretzel positions. I hate to break it to them, but prancing around like Buffalo Bill hiding his peen is more of a manly act than this. Find a more audacious sport, fellas. Like hopscotch.