Saturday, March 31, 2007

Goin' Marv Albert On My Ass (Literally)


Last night I attended my Goddaughter's 5 year-old birthday party in which she invited 15 girls over for a three hour slumber party, complete with nail painting and disco dancing. For the first hour I stayed in the kitchen with her dad and grandad (we were the only boys present) watching baseball and generally staying out of the way.

Now, I have a knack for riling up kids whenever I'm around. So naturally, the silly in me eventually came out and the girls started hitting me with balloons. This (along with the sugar high from the M&M's they had devoured) led to them chasing me around the house in a complete frenzy while beating me with the balloons. The mob mentality kicked in (literally) as they started kicking and hitting me. As I stood there taking a pounding, albeit harmlessly, I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my backside. "OW!," I said, and spun around to see one of the little girls staring up at me with a shit-eating grin on her face. The girl had bitten me on the ass! And she's five! I can only imagine what she'll be doing at 18...hell, at 15 for that matter. Nice, huh?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I laughed my butt off when I read that! :P

Anonymous said...

Come on Tommy you are just wishing that really happened . If you had not backed into the child and knocked her down you would not have felt anything.