A recent decision by MIT spells out certain basic tests that celestial objects will have to meet before they can be considered for admission to the elite cosmic club of planetary inclusion. For now, membership will be restricted to the eight "classical" planets in the solar system: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.
Much-maligned Pluto doesn't make the grade under the new rules for a planet: "a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a ... nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit." Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's.
SONOFABITCH!! All that time I wasted on those fucking planet mobiles I made in elementary school - I'll never get it back.
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I remember trying to spray paint those damn little styrofoam balls and getting your fingers stuck to them...At least now there will only be eight! Yes, poor, poor Pluto...What will the new pneumonic device be I wonder...I will never be able to unlearn My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas-
We learned with a poem
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars
These are the planets that dwell near the stars.
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus too.
Neptune and Pluto.
I know them. Do you?
The day of your birthday and that is all you have to talk about?
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